Are You At Capacity?
I think a lot about the concept of “capacity.” The dictionary defines capacity as “the maximum amount that something can contain” or “the amount that something can produce” or “a specified role or position.”
In terms of organizing, I obviously think of capacity constantly - is the designated space in our homes for the various categories of things in it, at capacity? Is it full? Overflowing? Or is it spacious with room to grow and breathe? This can determine the next course of action with how we help you get organized in your home.
On a personal level though, I often wonder if we have the mental and physical bandwidth for the tasks we are responsible for and voluntarily take on. Do we actually have the time, energy or skills to be doing all that we’re doing?
Through my work, I see women - lots of women - who are busy, ambitious women, mothers, caregivers, executives, dreamers, doers…all doing A LOT. Some women handle it with ease, and others, not so much (they’re drowning). Some have lots of help (which is amazing) and some are getting by by the skin of their teeth. I myself can go either way. I can make it look as if I handle it all with ease, and often it is easy because I am a great planner, but every now and again I do break down because I’ve overdone it. I thrive on chaos and coordination and making things happen - not to be busy for the sake of being busy, but because I am multi-passionate and have a full, fun life.
pausing for a reality check
Occasionally I have to give myself a reality check and for a minute (or even a week) analyze everything on my plate. I think about what’s working and what’s not. This typically happens after a particularly stressful few weeks. I’ve only learned to do this after many moments of falling apart - including burning out from juggling corporate work and my personal life many years ago. When I fall apart it’s usually from working too much, feeling overly tired, becoming overstimulated, a lack of cardio, and sometimes being underfed (hello, hangry). It’s overall exhaustion - but usually heavy on the overstimulation - it’s like my brain can no longer make a simple decision because there are just too many to be made.
When I’m near those moments, I now stop and ask myself “am I at capacity right now?” If so, I know without a doubt I cannot take on something else at the moment - whether it’s a request from family, friends, or clients. And if I’m already there, I look at what I can take off my plate, whether it’s indefinitely or just temporarily. If it’s an important task or event and it needs to be prioritized, then I have to pause or cancel something else that’s going on at the time to make room - because like a puzzle, only so many things can fit. Whenever possible, I ask for help so that everything can still get done (if it must).
I’ve learned to be a lot more realistic and give myself a lot more grace. I will actually say out loud “I am not a robot” to remind myself that we don’t exist to just do do do. I’m not trying to be busy for the sake of being busy but 95% of the time I am trying to be productive, and my mental health sometimes suffers for it. When I actually say out loud “I don’t have the capacity for that right now” I immediately feel better. Just saying this gives myself the permission to let that idea go - for now, or for good. Hearing my own words makes me realize I’m full - possibly overflowing - and it’s ok to say no. It doesn’t even feel disappointing - it actually feels empowering.
recognizing your season of life
The other thing I have started recognizing a lot lately is the fact that there are different seasons to our lives. I don’t know why it has taken until my 40s to see this but it’s really been eye opening for me. There are seasons to our lives like young adulthood, your single and dating years, your married years, years of raising young children, years of raising older children, pursuing education and degrees, growing your career, pausing your career, changing your career, divorcing, dealing with deaths, the retirement and empty nest years, becoming grandparents, and any other periods of your life that are specific to each and every one of us.
The point is that once we recognize the season of life we are currently in, and accept it, learning to manage our capacity becomes SO much easier. There are things that we once did in our lives that maybe we want to get back to or new things that we want to take on but the timing doesn’t feel quite right - and that all makes much more sense once we understand our current place in life. It’s so much easier to say “now isn’t the time for that”, or “in order to fit that in, I have to forgo X-Y-Z”, or “I need to get help so that I can accomplish all of this” - because we all only have so much capacity.
Looking at your life in seasons really enables you to manage expectations of not only yourself, but your expectations of others once you accept the season they’re in as well. I have more grace for myself and more compassion for others because of it.
it’s ok to draw a line
Viewing capacity as a restraint can make it a lot easier to say yes or no to things - both physical things that you bring into your home as well as mental tasks, activities, hobbies and events that you commit to. If something isn’t fitting into your capacity puzzle - it has to go, be delegated, or you have to find something else that has to leave instead.
It’s OK to say “no.” (“No” is a grammatically correct and complete sentence, by the way).
It’s OK to say “another time.”
It’s OK to say “I’m doing too much.”
It’s OK to say “enough.” And might I add, you ARE enough!
Until next time,
